We had just moved into the house. It was located only one street over from our last residence, and by some coincidence, the house number was the same.

Our first week living there, I was walking in the front yard when I stepped on something slightly pointy, and very solid. I wrote it off as the tip of a large rock, and continued walking. I suppose I was in a weird mood that day, because after considering it a moment, I went back to get a closer look.

The thing I had stepped on was shaped like a tiny mountain of metal. I started uncovering it with my hands. As I dug, I found what looked like a mouth, an eye socket, and another. For some reason I will never know, there was a large, iron head buried in the yard! I never would have seen it had I not actually stepped right on it.

The thing is really, really heavy. It's like a cannon ball. It creeps my wife out, because she worries that it may be bad luck. I'm not a superstitious person, but we've had only good luck since finding it, so I tell her that it must be a lucky scary iron head.

My friend Tom advised me to put it on the internet to try to get more information about it, but after some consideration added: "...unless that's WHAT IT WANTS!"

Nevertheless, here is the Scary Iron Head, in all its horrible glory.

S.I.H. FAQ:

How heavy IS it?

Twenty-two pounds. But it's about the size of an eggplant. Think about picking up something that small and it weighing twenty-two lbs! It surprises everyone.

Has it really brought you good luck?

Oh yeah! That thing is great! Since finding the head, we are hardly ever sick, my business has been picking up, and NO COUGARS! I am totally serious, not even a single cougar. I just wish we had found the head before "Firefly" was cancelled.

What... oh lord... what's that stuff in it's mouth?

We try not to look at or discuss it. It actually doesn't look that bad in person. In person, it merely looks like someone chewed up a mouthful of iron catfood, then opened their mouth to show it to you.

Who made it? What is the history of the house?

I have no idea who made it, or why. I can tell you that the house was not THAT old. I'm guessing it was built in the fifties or sixties. The most interesting thing about it was that in center of the attic, there was a puddle of red candle wax. There were two boxes of letters, some of which were written from prison. My wife and I read them for a few hours one night, and they seem to tell the story of a woman living in the house with another man, while her angry ex-lover was in prison. We never read them all, because we got so creeped out. I saved them, but have not gone through and read all of them yet.

All Scary Iron Head inquiries may be forwarded to:

info@redrocketfarm.com